We are terribly sorry to inform you that the Executioner's Office is temporarily closed due to renovations, as on the 10th of May, the grieving widow of a former customer drove their car through our display of antique torture devices, into the inner wall of our waiting area, endangering the structural integrity of the establishment.
Customers marked for execution are kept safely in the dungeons; their executions may need to be rescheduled until the walk-in theater is fully operational in accordance with the law, which states "in case of an unexpected delay of one's execution, all of the following executions must be withheld as well, so no one man may live unproportionately longer than other wasted souls".
However, our torture chambers are luckily unaffected and normal operations may resume in two days time. During the renovations, please use the back entrance in Headless Alley to visit us. As always, please make an appointment if you would like to inquire about our services available for the public.
Thank you for your patiance until these issues are resolved.
Executioner #49 of the 7th Street Chambers.
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