[song] Why's everything so shite

intro (spoken)

‘ey mate, wanna hear a joke?
Y’know, I’ve got a good one!
It’s about quite everything, something like the 42.
...
Forget it. Let’s start.

verze 1

When everything’s began
There was quite nothing
People didn’t care
‘cuz people were nothing

And then the idea’s born
Got some dirt and shite
Make it something new
There was nothing alike

The big man started form
The human shape evolved
But then there wasn’t a waste
He know how to resolve

First step: make the chimps
And then some other apes
Finally you were made
Out of nothing but shit!

hook

Never forget from where you have come ‘ere!
What did the fish do? What did ya think?
There were already birds, there were already mermaids
And their shite out o' which you were made!

verze 2

You know my friend
I’ve got a pretty joke
You were made out of shit
But I’ve told you this before

That dirt wasn’t enough
The sand was too yellow
Luckly the big man found
Something [that] he could borrow

Shit'll never disappear
Till it’s human made
And we didn’t even count
The shite of other apes!

Don’t worry chum
Believe me you ain’t alone
We all made outta shit
‘cuz dirt’s run out long ago!

hook

Never forget from where you have come ‘ere!
What did the fish do? What did ya think?
There were already birds, there were already mermaids
And their shite out o' which you were made!

Inspired by Always look on the bright side of life, the Galaxy song, and other Eric Idle songs and performances.