[poem] Dreamy Introduction

Hylo
I meant to say seeya
I meant to say hello
I'm just a student and my name you know
because this is all you know, I'd introduce myself
so...
here we go

I'm a writer
I'm just writing and writing
my skills are developing
planning, designing, gaming and rhyming
sorry
I meant to say whining
but I failed to speak the language
I should call it a day
and put an end to it
or as we say in Hungary
sajnálom, de ennyi
ennyi volt
I've said before
I'm a writer, ain't a rider
unless it's a bike
then I'm a biker

shall we find her
or shall we not?
she's an angel of some sort
an angel of comfort
with whom I could find a home, a family
not the kind I'm tryna remedy
and now it's happening
I've made up my mind, I'm going for it
and when I'll get there I'll look around...
there was nothing to it
just a dream and some glitter on the top
beneath that though... there's nothing, but a flop
or is there more?
a raven came and said "nevermore"
wait, am I even at the right spot?
that table shoulda said Veszprém, but it told me Varna
there ain't no karma, nothing that Imma
process without doubting my senses
through my negative lenses
that told me I shall get her and be happy
yet all I've found was this other girl
a'right then, I though, I'll give it a whirl
and it was good an' all, but under the dirt...

you know what's the problem?
my vocabulary
knowledge and understanding, anything imaginary
I am sorry
I've been trying
all I ever wanted is to write something chancy
that people might like, that people can fancy
I wanted to create, but my memory 404d
it's all gone now
it's over, I'm through
I didn't save to cloud, now all I have is the truth
and it hurts my feelings, hurts my soul
it hurts my soul that I'm alone
yet all I've done is less than nought
or is there more?
the raven slept, so I said: nevermore

'sides the word though, what am I looking for?
I need a goal, to kill the boy
I've got the zero, I've got the two,
so I'm looking for the one
to fill the hole
the hole in my heart, a hole for crows
waiting to be the hole o' joy
feeding those in need, not bothering the rest
given what times these are, 'tis gonna be the best
this ain't that though, this ain't the place
I need more will, I need the pace
to get over everything, to gather the power
so I can go back to the exact hour
when I had to choose the route, which one I'm following
the current one is bad, the other one's a mystery
it might have the happiness, it might have the misery
whatever I want, the cost is high to rewrite history
no man have ever attetempted to do that
thus I need to wake up, for this is the end of my class